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From: stev0@smurf.sti.com (Steve Berlin) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Who's Who in the World of Kibo Date: 27 Nov 1992 13:16:50 -0800 Message-ID: <1f6382INNjrq@smurf.sti.com> Organization: Software Transformation, Inc. Lines: 444

There are many, many people mentioned in Kibo's famous .signature file. To help you folks get the "in" jokes and cultural references, I humbly present this encyclopedia I created (with a LOT of help from Kibo, especially with spelling) to know Who's Who in Kibo's .sig. (note: the numbers by the names indicate where that person is mentioned, as of Kibo's .sig of 11/11/92)

=======================BEGIN OVER HERE=============================== "Bob" (185-212)

AKA J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Hi Ruler of the Subgenii, very good friend of Kibo's, Giver of Slack(tm), smoker of 'frop. Widely regarded as evil, but in a good way. "Bob" is a registered trademark of the Church of the SubGenius. -- Allen, Byron (737)

The Black Pat Sajack. Friend of Kibo's. -- BIFF (100)

BR0THER HAS C-64 WITH L0TS 0F AWESUM WAREZ!!!1!11! WUZ A FRIEND 0F KIB0;S, BUT N0W ISNT'!!!!11!!!!1 -- Barbour, John (738)

Someone who is less funny than Byron Allen, but a friend of Kibo's, anyway. -- Barrett, Majel (522)

Wife of famous Trekkie, good friend of Kibos'. -- Barry, Dave (432)

He is - and I am not making this up - a famous syndicated columnist. Friend of Kibos' (sic). -- Batman (145, 495, 977)

He's Batman! Good friend of Kibo's. Secret Identity: Bruce Wayne (also a good friend of Kibo's). -- Berlin, Steve (874)

Professor of Kibology at Miskatonic U. Friend of Kibo's. -- Bozo (68, 72, 83, 107, 142, 482, 524, 660, 661-685,)

No ordinary clown. The World's Most Famous Clown. Very, very good friend of Kibo's. Registered Trademark of Larry Harmon Productions, Inc. -- Briggs, Bertha (174)

Lottery winner, lucky dog owner, friend of Kibo's. -- Brissete, Tiffany (644)

A robot? A little girl? A friend of Kibo's? YOU decide! -- Brockman, Amy S. (654)

Social Commentator, friend of Kibo's. -- Brokaw, Tom (342)

Serious journalist, friend of Kibo's. -- Brown, Charlie (92)

The quintessential loser, but friend of Kibo's nonetheless. -- Bundy, Al (196, 345)

A man. A REAL Man. A Real Man's man. A Real friend of Kibo's. -- Bundy, Peg (196)

A Woman. A REAL Woman. A Real Man's Woman. Another friend of Kibo's. -- Bundy, Ted (195)

A Psycho. A REAL Psycho. A Real Psycho's Psycho. An enemy of Kibo's. Once tried to kill Kibo with a meat cleaver, tried to kill Eddie Haskell with a beaver cleaver. -- Burroughs, William S. (540)

A Postmodern didactic spokesman for the angst-ridden society of our planet. May be a friend of Kibo's, nobody's admitting anything. Rumored to have a talking asshole (which is not Kibo). -- Bush, George (699)

Not a friend of Kibo's, or anyone else who is not a white male president of a multi-national global-polluting corporation. -- Carson, Johnny (737)

Ex Talk show host, or, as they say in England, ex Chat show host. Friend of Kibo, and everyone else for that matter. -- Cher (361)

The tatooed lady. "Friend" of Kibo's. -- Coates, Sean E. (369)

E! Poster child, good friend of Kibo's. -- Dali' (658)

AKA Salvador Dali', most famous for a painting he did of a melted version of Kibo's .sig. -- Danson, Ted (335)

Plays the bartender at the most Evil Bar in America. While he himself is not a friend of Kibo's, his hairpiece is. -- Dennehy, Brian (367)

Friend of Kibo's. -- Derrida (89)

Writer, friend of Kibo's. -- Dick, Philip K. (87)

Dreamer of Electric Sheep, inspiration for the movie "The Trouble with Dick". The "K" stands for "Kibo". -- Dominus, Jason (27, 865)

One of the original contributors of Kibo's .sig, along with his brother, Mark. Now part of law firm, Mark, Jason, & Dominus. -- Dominus, Mark (27, 865)

See Dominus, Jason. -- Douglas, Mike (205)

Ex-talk show host, Star of "Basic Instict". Friend of Kibo's.

-- Dukakis, Michael S. (807)

Not a friend of Kibo's, doesn't even KNOW Kibo, even though Kibo once saw him in the Public Garden once. John Kerry once said hello to Kibo, but he (John Kerry) looks like Jay Leno. -- Elliot, Chris (344)

The funniest person on American Television. Very good friend of Kibo's. -- Elvis (148)

See the Encyclopedia Kibanitica (or the Alt.religion.kibology FAQ) about this one. Considers Kibo to be his best friend. -- Goldenstern, Michael Jackson (424)

No relation to Michael Jackson the singer. Michael Jackson the singer is a friend of Kibo's. -- Graber, Harry

11-Year old who is dying of a fatal disease. Want to break the world record for most copies of Kibo's .signature file. -- Grishman (434)

Computer programmer, friend of Kibo's. -- Hall, Arsenio (737)

Another talk show host, another friend of Kibo's. -- Herman, Pee-wee (119, 129, 135, 347)

Ex-host of Pee-wee's Playhouse. His favorite team is the Expos. He didn't hire a lawyer because he thought he could get himself off. Probably a friend of Kibo's, but Kibo may deny this. -- Hersey, Dana (349, 699)

Host of The Movie Loft and the real star of "Ask the Manager". Friend of Kibo's. AKA Willie Whistle, the world's least favorite clown. See them on WSBK-38 on cable throughout much of America. Also on "Ask the Manager". WSBK, the ALL-THREE STOOGES/HOGAN'S HEROES CHANNEL! -- Hubbard, L. Ron (216, 696)

Inventor of the E-Meter, creator the 200-point personality test. Kibo passed in flying colors. -- Jittlov, Mike (621)

Writer, director, animator, songwriter, singer, inventor, bicycle rider, and good friend of Kibo's. -- Jones, Chuck (421)

Creator of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, and Kibo. -- Kafka (110)

Part cockroach, part .sig. The cockroach half is a friend of Kibo's. -- Keillor, Garrison (131)

Radio personality. Not ashamed to be from Minnesota, not ashamed to admit Kibo is his friend. -- Kibo

See Parry, James. -- King, Stephen (89)

Horror book writer. Most famous for "The Shining", a book in which Jack Nicholson is trapped in a hotel with a 50 ft. .sig file. -- La Rouchefoucauld (416)

No relationship to Lyndon LaRouche. Would be a friend of Kibo's, but he's dead. Still is very quotable. -- LaRouche, Lyndon (698)

A wacko. Thinks he is a friend of Kibo's, but he's not. We would say he's a DANGEROUS wacko, but he would kill us if we did. -- Laura (199)

The object of many a necrophiliac's wet dreams. Ex girlfriend of Kibo. -- Lee, Pinky (211)

The inspiration for Pee-wee Herman. Aquaintance of Kibo's. -- Log Lady (192-208)

Another wacko. She rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs... -- Lynch, David (184-212)

Pretentious director. Most famous for directing "Dune", the dullest Science Fiction Film of all time. Friend of Kibo's. -- Mathew (27)

Co-designer of Kibo's Signature. Kibo forgot his last name (but can you blame Kibo? He has too many friends!) -- Miro' (658)

Painter; painted first known abstract portrait of Kibo'. -- Newell, Gordon (417)

Very difficult professor. Not a good friend of Kibo's. -- Nixon (215)

AKA Richard Nixon, first President of the United States to resign in shame. A friend of Kibo's. -- Ollie (114)

AKA Oliver North, after admitting to lying to Congress, ignoring the Constitution, supplying guns to Iranian terrorists and South American drug dealers, became American Folk Hero. Business Partner of Kibo's. -- Oneel, Qnir (623-635)

"Dave Barry" in rot13 -- Orwell (110)

AKA George Orwell, writer of "1984", a bleak dystopian novel were ultrafascist government makes people have no more than four lines in their .sig files. Friend of you-know-who. -- Osterbrock, Carol (964)

Net Personality, friend of Kibo's. -- Parry, James "Kibo" (63-66, 70, 94-95, 112, 114, 159-160, 169, 351, 654, 731-733, 769, 854, 875, 965)

Typeface designer, Internet personality, and sex symbol for the 70's, 80's, and 90's; fighter for truth, justice, and the American Way. Millions of people can faithfully say they have no other friend. -- Pfeiffer, Michelle (368)

Winner of Oscar(tm) for Best Supporting Actress in Grease II. Friend of Kibo's. Was also in some film with Danny DeVito and Pee-wee Herman. -- Pollock (658)

AKA Jackson Pollock, original "splatter" painter. Used to have longest .Sig until Kibo came along. -- Python, Monty (148, 194)

The most quoted source in people's .sigs, with maybe the possible exception of Douglas Adams. Mr. Python is a very good friend of Kibo's. -- Quayle, Dan (107, 116, 329)

Frend of Kiboe's. -- RMS (974)

AKA Richard M. Stallman, "The Last Hacker". Thinks all software should be free, along with everything else. I want him to talk to my landlord. Very good friend of Kibo's. -- Ren (893)

A full-blooded Astmatic Chihuahua. Friend of Stimpy & Kibo -- Rockwell (659)

AKA Norman Rockwell, painter of Americana. Painted first known portrait of Kibo. -- Roddenberry, Gene (799)

Creator of Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Star Trek: The .Sig file. Very good friend of Kibo's. Kibo's belt buckle says so. -- Safire, William (220)

Syndicated columnist, ex-Nixon speechwriter, is less pedantic than Kibo, this is a comma splice. -- Sagan, Carl (68)

Astronomer and one of Kibo's billions and billions of friends. -- Sajak, Pat (737)

Host of "Wheel of Fortune", and is generally considered to be the greatest Talk Show Host of all time. Has a perfectly spherical head, but polyhedral hair. F__e_d _f __b_'s. -- Salieri (660)

Composer, murderer of Johann Amadeus Kibo, who is the writer of the immortal opera, "The Magic .Sig". -- Schwarzenegger, Arnold (486-498)

Terminator, Predator, Barbarian, Cop. Very, very good friend of Kibo's. -- Scott, Williard (142)

America's favorite buffoon. Friend of Kibo's, even though Kibo has no respect for him. -- Scotty (133)

Engineer of NCC-1701, aka the Starship Enterprise. Regularly changes the laws of physics. Friend of Kibo's great great granddaughter, Uhura Kibo. -- Shatner, William (336, 522-525)

The best writer, the best director, the best singer, and certainly the best actor of all time. Friend of Kibo's. His hairpiece is a friend of Ted Danson's hairpiece. -- Simpson, Bart (91, 199, 253-261)

Icon, in all senses of the word. While he is not a friend of Kibo's, per se, his friends, Akbar and Jeff, are. -- Sontag, Susan (329)

Bride of Frankenstein, ex-wife of Kibo. -- Spot (48-56, 357)

he's JUST A DOG! -- Stephenson, Skip (738)

Someone who is about as funny as John Barbour. Tragically died in 1992, got the shortest possible UPI obituary. A prime example of the Least Possible Celebrity. -- Stimpy (893)

AKA Stimpson J. Cat, friend of Ren, Kibo, and Muddy Mudskipper -- Tanguy (658)

Painted first nude portrait of Kibo. -- Villachaise, Herve (212)

AKA "Tattoo" on the hit TV show "Small Wonder". Friend of Kibo -- Voltaire (422)

French philosopher, writer, statesman, and too dead to be Kibo's friend. -- Vonnegut, Kurt (85)

AKA Kilgore Trout. Most famous books: "Breakfast of Kibo", "Welcome to the Kibo House", "Sirens of Kibo", and so on. -- Warhol, Andy (477, 658)

Predicted that everyone would be mentioned in Kibo's .signature for 15 minutes. -- Whistle, Willie

See Hersey, Dana -- Wright, Steven (354)

Stand up comedian, friend of Kibo's. Shared a dorm room until Kibo got nervous. -- Xibo (66, 536)

A bitter enemy of Kibo's. Rumored to be a failed AI project, unlike Kibo.

-- Steve Berlin . +I * .o o.* ` `B +. |"I just know that something stev0@sti.com ' K * . ' ' |\^/| `. * .O * |good is gonna happen!" .sig (c) 1992 by Mike Jittlov [for all the protection that affords] .sig re-mixed by Stev0 (c) 1992 - Four line unwarlordable dub mix