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From: ngsippel@miavx2.ham.muohio.edu Date: 9 Nov 92 14:50:11 GMT Newsgroups: alt.tv.ren-n-stimpy Subject: The not-so-official Ren & Stimpy Episode Guide

Written By: Nick Sayer Edited By: Norman Sippel

The not-so-official Ren & Stimpy Episode Guide

This episode guide doesn't list all the episodes, rather all the components that seem to be arranged in random pairs to make a half-hour show. Though the component arrangements don't shift around, they aren't logically connected either, except for the connection between "Untamed World" and the "Croc-o-stimpy" WWDTT, and "Stimpy's Big Day" and "The Big Shot".

Season 1:

Long stuff: Each of these is about 7 to 8 minutes.

Big House Blues The characters are introduced, then run over and scraped up by the dog catcher. They spend the night in the pound and Ren is rescued by a little girl the next morning (who mistakes him for a poodle after Stimpy coughed up a hairball on him). Ren won't go, though, unless Stimpy comes too.

The Boy Who Cried "Rat!" After rummaging through a dumpster for some food, Ren has an idea how they can make a dishonest living ("WORK?! Have you lost your MIND?!"). Ren sneaks into a house and cuts into the wall. Stimpy arrives the next morning bearing the title "Professional Mouse Catcher" and chases Ren (throwing himself into the role, complete with Mickey ears and sound effects ["Squeak! Squeak, I tell you! Squeak!"]) around the house.

Fire Dogs Our heroes are down to Stimpy's last grain of litter, so they have to find jobs. They see a poster indicating positions open for fire dogs (dalmations only). Ren grabs a can of "Dalmation Paint" ("What do you see, Stimpy?" "Ugly black spots." "Good! Now shut up and look stupid!") and they're hired. They go on a call and become heroes.

Nurse Stimpy Ren gets sick and Stimpy has to nurse him back to health. Stimpy gives him a complete examination and makes him take some "All Purpose Icky Tasting Medicine". A few months later, Ren makes a miraculous recovery, but now Stimpy's sick! As Ren says, "Now it's MY turn!!"

Stimpy's Big Day The Big Shot (part 2 of SBD) Stimpy enters a TV contest for Gritty Kitty Litter against Ren's advice. To Ren's surprise, Stimpy wins $47,000,000 and is driven off to Hollywood to guest star on the "Muddy Mudskipper Show". Ren is jealous, but after a few weeks finds he's missing Stimpy (despite seeing him on every channel on the TV). Some good cartoon spoofs (The Jetsons, Yogi Bear, and Popeye among others).

Stimpy's Invention Stimpy invents lots of silly things and has Ren try them out. Ren is not happy with these inventions, so Stimpy makes a "Happy Helmet" to make sure Ren is never unhappy again. The result is even more psychotic than "Space Madness." Includes the now-famous "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song.

Untamed World Vicious and excellent spoof of "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom". [Reports from Spumco state that this one was called "Nature Show" internally]

Captain Hoek and Cadet Stimpy: Black Hole Their space ship is sucked into a black hole. They wander around on a strange planet therein which has a mutating effect on them, discover the universe's repository for missing left socks, and miss the bus back to Jersey City. Could this be the end?

Space Madness Our heroes are on a ridiculously long (36 year) space voyage. Being stuck in a spaceship with Stimpy could drive just about anyone nuts, but Ren totally loses it. He ends up assigning Stimpy to guard the 'History Eraser Button' with strict orders not to press it. Of course Stimpy's curiosity (not to mention a pushy announcer) gets the better of him. Could this be the end?

Marooned Their spaceship is in trouble! It crashes on an alien planet and the boys have to rough it. More in the series of most excellent Star Trek swipes they started in "Space Madness" ("Interesting." "What is it?" "This thing [tricorder] makes some really cool noises!") They end up being eaten by alien plant life. Could _THIS_ be the end?

Stimpy's Storybook Land: Ren and Stimpy get ready for bed-time, but Stimpy can't go to sleep without a story. Ren 'suggests' that he read it himself, but since Stimpy Can't Read, he has to make it up as he goes along. In the meantime, Ren dreams the story Stimpy narrates, and gets the worse of it.

Robin Hoek Ren as Robin Hood, Stimpy as (nearly) everyone else.

The Littlest Giant Stimpy is the littlest giant in Hugevania. The other big, mean giants constantly abuse him (including perhaps the rawest wedgie ever shown on television), so he runs away. He happens upon Farmer Ren in Thumbsville, who is suffering from the drought hitting his town. Stimpy's tears fill the well and Ren agrees to do anything for his new, big friend. Well, almost anything. (Note: Hugevania has an umlaut over the 'u'.)

Short Stuff: In addition to two of the above 'long' pieces, an episode will typically contain two of these. They're about 30 seconds long:

ad: High Fashion Log for Girls Log For Girls with clothes.

ad: Little Brother More "Blammo" toys. Do something naughty and pull his string - "I did it. You're the best sister ever."

ad: Log Includes an excellent spoof of the Slinky song.

ad: Log For Girls A log with makeup and hair you can comb.

ad: Powdered Toast A breakfast treat with a superhero spokesman. (From Preemo)

The Oath "Thousands of miles below the earth's crust," there is a secret lair where R&S hang out. While we're down there, Ren administers the Ren & Stimpy club's now famous oath.

Stimpy's Breakfast Tip What do you do with a box of cereal with a prize at the bottom?

Yak Shaving Day A funky holiday indeed. (The holiday eve is called "Kilted Yak Eve.")

Ask Dr. Stupid: Just like it sounds. There are two of these so far: Why School? One Hump or Two?

What'll We Do Till Then?: Used to end the show. Ren is saying 'goodbye' to the audience and Stimpy is worried about what they'll do in the meantime. There are four of them: Chase Your Tail Until You're Dizzy Kitty Litter Magic Nose Goblins Play 'Horsey' With Croc-o-Stimpy

Season 2:

Long stuff: Each of these is about 8 to 10 minutes.

In the Army Our boys are somehow drafted into the army. They go through induction and then meet their drill sergeant. They spend most of their time peeling things... Happy happy happy... peel peel peel... Almost as psychotic in points as Space Madness.

Powdered Toast Man We had the briefest glimpse in the first season. Now we get a day in the life... He saves a kitty, the pope, R&S, the President, and the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights, sort of. Guest stars Gary Owens as PTM and Frank Zappa as the Pope.

Ren's Toothache Ren learns about oral hygiene the hard way when all his teeth fall out and even the Tooth Beaver rejects his stinky orafice. All works out ok in the end though, thanks to Stimpy.

Out West Ren & Stimpy are desperate horse theves in search of a hangin' at the hands of the stupidest sheriff in the west. Includes 'The Hangin' Song'.

Rubber Nipple Salesmen Ren & Stimpy are, well, Rubber Nipple Salesmen. Stimpy invented them, of course, but he "can't sell anything! [He] can't even whizz by [him]self." The circus-midget hating fireman is back, of course, along with a strangely psychotic Mr. Horse, and Mr. & Mrs. Pipe, who get to experience the thousand-and-one uses of rubber nipples. Stimpy gets perhaps the most loaded line in the whole season.

Editor's Note: The sequence with George Liquor was cut out.

Sven Hoek Ren has invited his cousin Sven to visit. Sven is even stupider than Stimpy, so Ren feels left out when Sven wants to spend all his time with Stimpy. When Ren leaves to go to work, Sven and Stimpy play around the house (including "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence!"). When Ren comes home and finds his stuff destroyed ("My opera records ... covered in bubble gum!"), he goes into the most psychotic fit of rage of the season. (Note the games they look at while in the closet and that the man on the "Electric Fence" game looks like Clark Kent {also known as Superman.})

Short Stuff:

ad: Gritty Kitty Litter Gary Owens pitches the new improved Gritty Kitty with a free prize and Stimpy mask in every box. It aired during "The Muddy Mudskipper Show." (Note: We get to hear the Muddy Mudskipper theme again! Joy!)

ad: New Log products A gaggle of new Log products to oogle at. From Blammo. Batteries not included. (Narrated by Gary Owens, PTM himself!)

ad: More New Log Products If you didn't get enough of Gary Owen's new Log products, there are a plethora of new action log sets from Blammo, just in time for the holidays!

ad: Sugar Frosted Milk Another breakfast treat. Four ounces of SFM and six ounces of cereal make a well-balanced breakfast.

Ask Dr. Stupid What have you bean?

What'll We Do Till Then? Blow Yourself Up Like A Balloon (Billy West plays Ren on here)

We have also seen reruns of much of the material of season one in the second season to handle nixed cartoons and to play something onto SNICK.

Rumored Cartoons: (or Stimpy's Believe It Or Else)

The following are cartoons rumored about on and off the net. Whether they are true or not is for you to decide.

(If you have seen or heard of one, please send the info. to me to add.)

Man's Best Friend (Starring George Liquor) Our heros are in a pet shop and are bought by George Liquor. George ends up being a real life Sergeant Slaughter and treats them rough. Will R&S survive? And where did the goldfish go to?

Dog Show Mr. Horse judges an all-breed dog show which George Liquor has entered R&S. ("But I'm a cat," says Stimpy.) Will R&S pass Mr. Horse's approval? And will R&S become champions for George and worthy of the name "Liquor?"

-- Nick Sayer <mrapple@quack.sac.ca.us> | "Now we can talk to cheese N6QQQ @ N0ARY.#NOCAL.CA.USA.NOAM | anywhere in the world, regardless 37 19 49 N / 121 57 36 W | of their foreign tongues!" +1 408 249 9630, log in as 'guest' | -- Stimpy

-- . _ . _____________ |\_|/__/| / \ / / \/ \ \ / Happy! Happy! \ /__|O||O|__ \ \ Joy! Joy! / |/_ \_/\_/ _\ | \ ___________/ | | (____) | || |/ \/\___/\__/ // _/ (_/ || | ||\ Norman Sippel \ //_/ alias Norman "Muddy" Stimpy \______// __|| __|| Email: ngsippel@miavx2.ham.muohio.edu (____(____) ngsippel@komodo.ham.muohio.edu